Written for today’s short affair prompt at Section VII

Summary: A high-society wine-tasting party leaves Illya perplexed, and Napoleon determined to find a way for Illya to enjoy the joys of it.

Cross-posted to AO3.

Illya was more than perplexed when it came to how wine
tasting parties seemed to be a big, fancy thing in the United States.  Not having been much of a people person,
Illya hadn’t engaged in social drinking before meeting Napoleon.  Napoleon, clearly, had been to these before,
judging by the way he repeated the actions of the others perfectly, swirling the
crimson liquid in their glasses before daintily taking a sip of their drinks.  It seemed so… choreographed, almost, and, in
addition to perplexing, Illya found it fascinating to see how Napoleon fit so
flawlessly into this.

Then again, should he have been surprised that his partner
would fit so well into high-class scenarios?

Illya did his best to imitate him, tasting the wines and
offering his opinions along with Napoleon and the others.  Halfway through the tasting, however,
Napoleon offered his apologies to their hosts and announced that he’d had
enough for the night, and he and Illya left the party, taking an evening walk
in the night air, departing the hotel and heading back towards their apartment.

“You didn’t have to leave the party because of me,” Illya
said.

“You didn’t seem to be enjoying yourself,” Napoleon
said.  “There’s no fun in it for me if
you can’t enjoy it, too.  …In hindsight,
I should have realized there’d be too many people for you…  Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Napoleon,” Illya insisted.  “And it wasn’t the number people—well, that
wasn’t the only factor.  It was all very…
awkward, don’t you think?  The
choreographed sniffing and swirling and sipping…”

“Yeah, there’s a certain social grace to wine tasting
parties,” Napoleon said.  “I remember on
my eighteenth birthday, Ma took me to one—it was incredible.”

“Of course, you’d think so…” Illya mused.  “But did it not strike you as odd how
high-class society seems to have rules for every little thing?”

Napoleon paused for a moment, thoughtfully.

“Well, I suppose when you put it that way, it does seem a
little weird to someone on the outside looking in,” he admitted.  “I never really gave much thought to it,
though.”

“You don’t really need to,” Illya admitted.  “You fit in so well with all of these high
society things.  Sometimes, I wish I did,
too, so that we could enjoy these things together, rather than things like this
happening…”

Napoleon paused in his tracks, clearly having an “aha”
moment.

“Maybe there’s a way we can,” he said, as a grin crossed
his features.  “Illya, you go on back to
the apartment.  I’ll join you there in
about half an hour.”

“…What are you planning?” Illya wondered.

“You’ll see,” Napoleon said, as he cheerfully hopped into a
taxi.

Illya stared as the taxi pulled away; after a moment, he
shrugged, and walked the rest of the way back to the apartment, where Baba Yaga
greeted him, almost questioningly, as though expecting him back later.

Illya sighed and picked the cat up, relaxing on the couch
with her.

“Oh, I ruined another outing,” he sighed.  “How Napoleon’s patience can be so infinite,
I’ll never know…”

Baba Yaga meowed at him, as though trying to explain
something obvious.  Illya’s mind was
elsewhere, though, but he was brought back to reality as Napoleon came in,
carrying a couple of paper bags.

“Where have you been?” Illya asked.

“You’ll see,” Napoleon said.  He got two wineglasses from the kitchen and
placed them on the coffee table, and then proceeded to place five bottles of
wine on the table.

“Napoleon…!” Illya exclaimed.

“See, there is a way we can enjoy a wine tasting party
together!”

Baba Yaga looked at Illya with a satisfied expression and
then looked back at Napoleon, meowing at him.

“Of course, my dear, I didn’t forget you,” Napoleon
insisted, pulling out a catnip toy.
“There—now we can all indulge.”

The Mau eagerly accepted the catnip toy and proceeded to
roll around on the floor with it as Napoleon and Illya enjoyed their own,
private wine-tasting party, with no rules other than their own.

It was one of the most enjoyable nights Illya ever had.